I Can't Explain
by Mrs. Hotchner-Wolfe
Summary: Alternate ending to "Cyber-lebrity". I think there was something between Ryan and Candice... this is how I saw the relationship evolve


I CAN'T EXPLAIN

Ryan Wolfe waited outside MDPD until Candice Walker was safely in her car and out of sight. He then got into his own car and drove home. He put on his music loud. He needed the distraction. He needed to keep his mind off her. Why did he have to get fired? Why did he have to get such a crappy paying job? Why did he have to agree to baby-sit Candice? _Candice... _he thought to himself. _Stop it, Wolfe! _he ordered himself. He turned the music up to maximum.

When he finally got home, he hooked his iPod up to his dock and put it up loud. _Why do you always fall for the wrong women, Wolfe? Erica, Natalia...? _Ryan jumped when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He grabbed the iPod, turned it down and answered the phone. " Wolfe."

" Ryan?" a female voice said. Candice.

" Candice...? Is that you?"

" Yeah... Sorry, I thought maybe I had the wrong number," she laughed nervously.

" Is everything alright?" Ryan asked shortly, trying to make his voice sound as uninterested as possible. He wanted this to be over as quickly as possible.

" Yea, everything's fine, it's just that-"

This really wasn't helping Ryan's problem. He cut her off. " Candice if there's nothing, then I really have to go."

" It is nothing, Ryan... but it is something... It's a little something... I just... I need to get out of the house. They're fighting again, Ryan... over who should take me. It sucks and..." Candice hesitated, pondering how to but this to him without him completely freaking out. _Just pull the bandage, _she told herself. " I want to see you!" She bit her lip and held her breath.

_NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, _ Ryan thought over and over again. _ Please don't say things like that. _" Hello? Ryan? Ryan... are you still there?"

" Yeah I'm still here. Look Candice -"

" There's a beach party, down on the... beach." _Duh! _she thought. " Meet me there?" she asked.

_No... pleaded, _Ryan thought. " Alright," he agreed defeated. She gave him details. He quickly changed into a tee shirt, jeans, trainers and grabbed a jacket, just in case it got cold out.

He stepped outside and met his older neighbour standing there. " Hey Ryan," she said, walking over to him. " Going out?" she asked seductively.

" Yeah... meeting a friend. Bye," he said and left. leaving a very disappointed neighbour standing in the hall.

By the time he got to the beach he was pretty glad to have brought the jacket with him. He could hear music from the car. It was slow playing. He closed his eyes and told himself nothing would happen. He grabbed the jacket, got out of the car and walked over to the bonfire where Candice said she'd meet him. A huge part of him was hoping she wasn't there, but a bigger part of him was happy to see her standing across from him, staring into the flames. He hated that part of himself for making him come... _why did I come?_ he asked himself over and over again

Ryan couldn't move when he saw her. She looked so ordinary yet so breathtaking. She was wearing a black shoulder top, a pair of jeans and a long cardigan. In her hand she held a pair of heeled boots. She looked up and smiled when she saw Ryan. Ryan smiled back and gave her a little wave, despite himself. When her smile grew, he knew it was a bad idea and looked down at the ground until he felt a hand on his arm. He looked to his right and saw Candice standing there. The music was blaring in his ears and he knew they probably wouldn't do much talking here. And he was right. Candice tugged at his arm with her free hand. He inhaled deeply, taking in her scent and could do nothing but follow her. She led him behind a few rocks and they sat there in silence for a few minutes, looking out at the sea, listening to the now distant music and the waves.

Ryan grew uncomfortable. " So what's the party for?" he asked breaking the silence.

" Luke. It was so short notice but loads of people came... students, teachers, parents..."

" Minus yours."

Candice smiled slightly. " Yeah, but I'm not surprised." They sat in silence again until Candice broke it this time. " You weren't busy tonight, were you?"

" No."

" Thanks for coming... I wasn't sure if you would," she said turning to face him.

" To be honest, I wasn't too sure if I would. When I got here and I saw you, I nearly jumped back in my car and drove off." She could see his smile. He turned to look down at her, to see what little he could to feed the need to kiss her. He hadn't realised how close she was to him when he turned and now, as she was looking up at him, he could feel her breath on his skin. _Not good... not good,_ he thought. Just as he was about to look away, Candice reached up and kissed Ryan. He didn't realise what was happening and began kissing her back. It wasn't until she put her hands to his face did he pull back. He sat forward, faced out to the sea again and licked his lips, trying to wash away the memory of the kiss. Candice put a hand on his shoulder but he just shrugged it off.

" What?" she asked, pushing herself up to sit next to him. " What is it?"

" That shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry."

" Why shouldn't it have happened? I thought you liked me."

" I do like you, Candice... that's the problem," he said raising his voice. He turned to face her. " I like you so much that it kills me when I remember this can't ever happen!"

" Why not?" she asked, sadly.

" Because, you're seventeen... I'm very close to thirty! That's a thirteen year difference at the most!"

" So my mother used to sleep with a forty-something year old when she was my age... How is that different?"

" Because you're not her! And I'm not that guy... I have boundaries... It sucks but I just can't walk back on them... if you were eighteen, yeah maybe then, cause you'd legally be an adult, but... And, god, don't get me started on how I feel about older men sleeping with seventeen year olds. I'd never sleep with you until you were eighteen... Hell maybe not even then... I'd probably have to hold out until you're twenty one or something! And I know that would be impossible to do for both of us. You would feel pressured and I would feel pressuring and then we'd fight and it would end in tears and throwing and blood and..."

" What are you talking about?" she asked, an amused smile playing across her face.

" I don't know... I'm uncomfortable and when I get uncomfortable I talk and talk and talk and..."

" Talk?" she finished.

" Yeah."

" See we know each other pretty well," she said proudly. Ryan looked at her and smiled. He held her head in his hands and placed a kiss on top. He held his face close to her for so long.

" It wouldn't work. I'm sorry."

" Hear me out." And he did. "My parents have plans for me. To travel to France and Italy and Spain. To backpack all through Europe. On going to college, here or New York or California. Maybe even abroad. They plan on my getting a good job with good pay. On getting married and having kids. **I** plan on dating and kissing. But I know nothing goes according to plan. I didn't plan on getting into trouble and meeting you and falling for you but I did. And I'm glad that wasn't planned. I didn't plan on ringing you and inviting you here. When I'm with you there are no appointments, no photo shoots, everything is just spontaneous. So I figure have a plan in my life around my parents and friends and just be spontaneous with you. No appointments, just show up and stay in or go to the movies and pick a stupid movie when we get there. Or get take out and have no idea what I'm gonna have. Or blindly pick a DVD at the store... Do I sound crazy?"

" Just a little," he said smiling.

" Long story short, I want to be with you. And we can take things slow until I'm ready if that's what you want. Ryan, I can see the look in your eyes, you want this too. just admit it!" He looked away in defeat and then back at her. She was moving closer to him and he knew she was leaning in to kiss him and he didn't stop her. In fact he began leaning in too. The were taken out of their own world and brought back to reality, when a bunch of kids came down sat on the sand, oblivious to Ryan and Candice, and began making out. They couldn't help but smile and laugh.

Ryan stood up and held out his hand. " C'mon!" he said when she took it.

" Where we going?" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

" My place?" he asked.

She moved her hand up to her mouth in mock shock. " Ryan I don't know... that's moving a bit too fast."

Ryan smiled. " Alright smart ass. I was thinking about cooking you dinner... something I don't do for people a lot... but you don't want to see a master at work, then that's fine!" She tightened her grip on his hand and followed him to his car. They drove in silence with only a CD playing.

When they reached his apartment door, Ryan's neighbour came out again. " Hey, Ryan. How was your night?"

" Pretty good, thanks." He looked up at Candice as he slid the key in the keyhole.

The neighbour threw a look at Candice and made a face. " This your... friend?"

" Yep." He opened the door and led Candice in.

" I think she has a thing for you..." Candice said. looking around his place.

" Yeah well, she's a little late." Ryan went straight for the bedroom. " I'll be right back."

He came back a few minutes later and found Candice flicking through his books. He held his iPod in his hand. He hooked it up to the dock. "There's a songs on this I really want you to hear." She sat on the sofa while he found the song." Before we listen to it, I just want you to know... You know how before you said you feel for me?"

" Yeah?" she said.

" Well, I can't say that to you not yet... but I want his to make it up to you and I figured that the best way to do that is to explain it to you, but I can't do that either... or at least I thought I couldn't until I remembered this song..." And he hit play. The Who began playing " I Can't Explain". Candice looked at Ryan and smiled. Ryan held her by the chin and kissed her again. He led her to the sofa and sat her down while he went to the kitchen and made pasta. She sat there and listened to the song. When it was over, Ryan walked back to her. " I know it's stupid and cheesy.."

" I love this song... it's one of my favourites."

After they had eaten, they sat on the couch. Candice placed a pillow on Ryan's lap and lay down on it. She allowed her eyes to close. Ryan waited for hours listening to the sound of her breath and then fell into a happy sleep himself.


End file.
